Posts

There's no freedom now

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I deactivated my Facebook account, again. I don't know for how long I will stay outside of it. It have done me no wrong but I no longer feel free to express what I want to say. I have friends there, my family, schoolmates. Most of them were supportive and loving. However there were also people watching and getting ready to misinteprate what I wrote. I dont know who, but I do feel thier existance. I might hurt someone I dont intend to. Here at my own blog, only a few with my blog link can find me. If they search for me meaning they are at thier own risk of reading what I am going to say in my blog. So please, if you feel annoyed with all my stories and nagging, you are welcomed to say good bye. I want to be free to express what I want to say. Why do you feel threatened? I'm nobody. Well goodbye Facebook, hello Blogger!

Changing lanes

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Getting back to Kulliyyah was not an easy task. I still have many things to catch up. Sometimes I felt like I was too far behind my friends, sometimes I felt that I am not strong enough. However, I keep reminding myself of why I'm doing this. Well this picture was taken during one of the methodology class at the library. Frankly, this is before I start to feel sleepy because of the cold auditorium. I was always the one who was fought sleeping by my lecturers in my undergraduate years. I remember of them yelling at me: "Azlin! Ha macamana, best kan orang kejut cerah mata!" I want to be there, teaching like those lecturers. I always imagine how I would handle my class. Will I be the lion type? This dream keep me alive. I will work harder to catch up. All the falls should not keep me on my knee. I will keep moving. I want to be phenomenal. Not just a lecturer but also a motivated. I want they to take the each of the challenge thrown at Thier face. I

The gifts from Allah

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Picture: Ameera in our Iswara This is Ameera. One of my toughest daughter. Born during my Master study in IIUM. She was born at 36 weeks and 6 days, a borderline preterm baby. I have never imagine having 5 kids and studying at my age. Yes, I have the ambition but to actually face it is both dream and nightmare. I was blessed to be given a kind hearted husband, who willingly sacrifices his time and emotion for our family. These gifts from Allah that I sometime taken for granted, should be the center of my struggle. I have to complete my study as soon as possible. I will , I must.

Leaving Facebook to see the world

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Image: At the Dar Al Hikmah Library, IIUM Kuantan Assalamualaikum, For those who were looking for me via Facebook, I would like to inform that I have deactivated my account. I don't know for how long, maybe a few days, couple of weeks or months or more. Right now I have to focus on finishing my master as soon as possible. I have sent my softbound thesis and awaiting the examination result. I have to finish my study by the end of this year. I also need to attend conferences, write manuscripts and at the same time need to do the corrections. My blog will be in English medium for now, as I need to polish my writing. InsyaAllah I will only be using simple words as I want people to understand what I wrote. Okay, see you again. Got much to catch up. - Elin Mohamad -

Kasih dan Sayang

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Gambar: Fuad dan Ainna bergambar seketika di Hospital UIA (IIUMMC) semasa kami mengantar makanan ke sana Kekuatan seorang manusia itu juga adalah kekurangannya. Bagai satu garis lurus yang bersambung. Antara kekuatan dan kelemahan itu ada satu titik yang menyatukan keduanya. Adakalanya kita akan lebih kuat, kadangkala akan lebih lemah oleh sesuatu perkara. Kekuatan dan kelemahan kita kadangkala adalah kasih sayang. Seperti cerita fast and furious, di mana si Van Diesel itu selalu sahaja tersepit dek kerana sahabat yang dianggap keluarga sering dijadikan umpan untuk mempergunakannya. Ada sahaja orang yang mengatakan bahawa dia akan kalah kerana itu. Namun yang pasti dia menggunakan "kelemahan" itu sebagai kekuatannya. Dia menjadi manusia yang sanggup berkorban kerana tidak kisah apapun terjadi padanya asalkan keluarganya selamat. Menjadi manusia batu tanpa perasaan kasih sayang mungkin membolehkan seseorang itu bergerak pantas dalam mencapai cita cita atau kejayaan.

Suamiku Si Pemalas

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Semalam aku ada menaip satu nukilan tetapi entah kenapa tiba-tiba tersalah tekan lalu ia hilang. Mungkin kerana takdir untuk menulis adalah posting ini; berkenaan suamiku si pemalas. Kenapa aku menulis posting ini? Kerana acapkali aku di beritahu yang suamiku seorang yang pemalas. Jadi harini ingin sekali aku ceritakan tentang kemalasan suamiku. Waktu aku mula mengenali suamiku, dia adalah seorang pemandu lori dengan pendapatan RM1100 sahaja. Aku kahwini dia sebelum masuk tahun kedua pengajian ijazah di UIA. Pernah sahaja aku menemani dia memandu lori menghantar barang-barang pertanian. Dari dalam lori dapatku melihat dia membanting tulang memikul baja yang besarnya lebih kurang saiz badannya sahaja. Bukan satu guni, malah berpuluh-puluh guni, di bawah terik mentari. Kami dikurniakan anak pertama pada 2007. Oleh kerana aku perlu menyambung pengajian, suamiku mengambil keputusan untuk menjaga anak sulung kami semasa itu. Siang bekerja memandu lori dan malam menjaga anak. S

Memori Long

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Waktu usai membaca Yassin selepas solat Maghrib, air mata bergenang. Tiba-tiba segala kenangan bersama Pak Long menjelma. Terbayang Pak Long yang suka berjenaka dan menghidupkan suasana setiap kali berjumpa dengannya. Kali terakhir Kak Lin dan Bro Nan Zainal Zom bertemu dengannya adalah bulan puasa tahun lepas. Semasa kami singgah semasa tinggal di rumah sahabat baik Kak Lin Zie Azimah di Besut atas urusan perjanjian dengan Uia. Kak Lin tak tahu itu salam dan pelukan terakhir Long untuk Kak Lin. Allah telah menjemputnya jam 2petang tadi, namun Kak Lin tertidur dan tidak sedar adik kak lin memaklumkan melalui Whatsapp. Patutlah begitu mengantuk tengahari tadi. Betul kata arwah Ming, kalau mengantuk yang amat sangat, mungkin ada benda yang sedang atau akan terjadi. Innalillahiwainnalillahirrajiun. Kepada Allah Long telah kembali, bersama segala memori dan gelak tawanya. Masih ingat, setiap kali berjumpa, Long pasti akan bersalam dan memeluk anak-anak saudaranya. Pelukan seorang b